Alyssa Pinsker

Being a Broad In Switzerland: Happy Sami Klaus Day!

Alyssa Pinsker — Wed, 03 Oct 2012 02:26:39 +0000

Here in Zug, everyone is Christian. Well, they aren't but according to
Europeans, especially the British, "Happy Christmas," is the
only appropriate greeting in December. When I responded with "Happy Hanukkah," to a very Swiss friend he literally looked befuddled. "What, are you a Jewish? Well same to you." Nice. Hope he doesn't put this in my shoe. But, seriously folks I am bi-cultural product of interfaith. Half-Jewish, half-Christian child of hipsters, one New York Jew, and one Ukrainain immigrant and so are most of us multicultural in this world, especially those who we call "third-culture kids." The children of economic expats, or results of religion, culture, nation of origin blind pairing like me.

Besides having more foreigners than any other canton, Zug is also the richest and not by coincidence. Hindus, Muslims, Jews and other faiths make up the state and the city. But, in Zug, yesterday morning when I left my home I saw a tall skinny bishop hat wearing Santa and several monks in blackface. Also there was a camel, children dressed in purple kings and queens robes and people on stilts. Since I grew up in Philly, and have since lived in Bushwick, Japan, France, India, and Israel nothing surprises me. I continued to my yoga class until I looked again at the men in black face. Were they covering their faces out of humility as I learned the medieval monks in Italy do when in procession?

After discussing whether they were aware of the offensiveness of their message, I asked a fellow North American who is now fully Swiss. I finally found out the meaning. Sami Klaus, is St. Nicholas, originally from Turkey, who lived in Spain, which was then a part of Italy. His "helpers" around him were moors, i.e. black servants. Here in Switzerland they are called "schmutzig,"dirty. Mothers will give a list to Sami Klaus, and if you are not a good child, you will be beaten with a stick, or taken up in a sack and removed-forever.

Then Sami Klaus comes to your house asking for money for the Catholic Church. He also marches en masse with cowbells.

This Holiday season, I will be teaching my students about diversity. In faith, in origin, in personality, in life. Global citizenry I call it in an international world. With and without rituals, and nationalism, that which is all a part of this world too, thank G-d.

Oscar Nominated Bollywood Movie Star!

Alyssa Pinsker — Sun, 25 Dec 2011 00:38:00 +0000

Actually, it’s Mollywood, Kerala (Mallu) where they speak Malayalam.The film’s director’s were telling us when we shot the film, that they wanted to be Oscar contenders-AND THEY ARE! The first INTERNATIONAL “Hindi” movie. Check it out!DAM 999

91:35-91:45

My sister and I acted in this amazing film, DAM 999 about Ayurveda, Kerala and a flood. We got to see a Katakana show, and meet the actors before and afterwards, and stand there and pretend to drink and smile. My sister overacted:) We had so much fun!

Photos of behind the scenes coming soon.

Women in Love Performance: February 1st, and Local Stories, February 25th

Alyssa Pinsker — Sun, 25 Dec 2011 00:24:57 +0000

I am so honored to be performing alongside Hettie Jones at Three Rooms Press’: Women in Love. February 1st, Cornelia Street Cafe,29 Cornelia Street, $12 cover, includes 1 free drink.

Also Local Stories, February 25th, flyer coming, http://localstories.tumblr.com/

My Girlfriend Guide: Hanukkah in Zurich 2011

Alyssa Pinsker — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 20:18:11 +0000

Hanukkah in Zurich 2011

December 20^th marked the first night of Hanukkah and regardless of your religion, Zuri Girl has your guide on how to celebrate this year.

There are 2 Candle Lighting Festivities this week, one in Zurich and one in Luzern. In Zurich, gather with friends and family to see the six-meter-high giant Menorah candle lighting followed with a greeting by Zurich City Council Representative, Daniel Leupi.

Date: Thursday, 22 December
Time: 18.00
Location: Hechtplatz
Cost: Free
Additional Information: Switzerland Chabad

If you are up for a night out, trek down to Luzern to see the other giant menorah lighting and enjoy a traditional drink for the holiday, vodka, along with sufiganot (donuts) and latkes at the After Party.

Date: Thursday, 22 December
Time: 17:30pm
Location: the Luzern Bahnhofplatz (station square)
Cost: Free. Donations welcome for After Party. CHF 10 for Adults / CHF 5 for Children
Additional Information: For Registration contact: Chabad Lubavitch Tel: +41-41-361-1770 / email: info@ChabadLuzern.com. Switzerland Chabad

Not excited to brave the snow, throw your own party and celebrate at home. Find necessary items at these Zurich shops:

Buy menorah and other supplies at Books and Bagels megastore for Judaica or visit Chabad for a free hannukiah and candles.
Get your kosher food at Kosher City
Find latkes supplies and even donut supplies at Globus and Jelmoli. Hanukkah is all about miracles, one of which is the miracle of oil, hence the oil cooked sufiganot and latkes.

Learn more at United with Israel

If you don’t celebrate the holiday, but want to wish a friend a Happy Hanukkah here are several ways to say it. You can spell Hanukkah or Chanukah as it’s transliterated from Hebrew. No worries there: Chanukah Sameach (Happy Chanukah); Chag Sameach (Happy Holiday) Multipurpose and much better than L’chaim which means “to life”, and it is used often for toasting. Also, mazeltov means congratulations colloquially but is literally good luck; A Freilichin Chanukah (Happy Chanukah in Yiddish); Glücklich Chanukah (you guessed it, German!)

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Contributed by Zuri Girl: Alyssa Pinsker writing to you from home in New York City where there is no shortage of Hanukkah parties or supplies, you can also find her on Facebook.
*Photo credit: The Corcoran Group

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Review: Whisky Boats. My Girlfriends Guide to Zurich

Alyssa Pinsker — Sat, 24 Dec 2011 19:59:34 +0000

Review: Whisky Boats 2011

Zuri Girl checked out the Whisky Boats this weekend. The four Burkiplatz boats were still packed on a rainy Saturday with sniftering fans, mostly of the male persuasion.

The place was full of men with cigars and glasses in hand, but that doesn’t mean a girl can’t have a good time here, even if she’s already attached. We found the most female-friendly activities at the Whiskey Boats this winter.

In fact, upon entering the boats the first thing we were greeted with were samples of Bibi Bigler’s limited edition Whiskey perfume. Snatch a bottle of the delicious fresh scent while you can, and check out her subtle flowery, Splendur, and for men, Cembra. Tell her Zuri Girl sent you. {Don’t worry about smelling like an alcoholic, this is a unique sultry scent one could wear to work.}

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Next we went on to the booze. First, we tried a lady’s sipping scotch from America, “Eagle Rare,” a ten year old Kentucky Straight bourbon whiskey which our hostess recommended as a mild sipping starter.

The lovely hostess, and her whisky from Best Taste.

We learned the technique of how to drink whisky: Not gulping it like a shot, as this Brooklyn girl thought, but first putting the whole nose in for a sniff, then swilling the drink until it “has legs” and finally sipping slowly on the front of the mouth –tongue to teeth.

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Next we went to whisky’s roots, Scotland, where the friendly native kilted salesman told us that the lowlands are known for “ladies whiskys” but instead offered us a highlands 46% single malt, “Tomatin”, the name of the region, which was quite delicious. My guest kept mocking my initial sour face, but that’s when I thought you had to down whiskey like vodka, I was actually able to sip this one, and the boats movement helped it go down a bit, though just don’t drink too much. Here’s the Smuggler and his staff.

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After trying some 50% Japanese grain whisky (Japanese are the world’s largest consumers of the beverage), we went back to our current roots: Switzerland. Gunter Sommer’s Smallest Whiskey bar on earth– it’s in the Guiness book of world records okay – was our favorite. Maybe because my friend is a Zuri local, but for me I found it the sweetest, smoothest and even a little flowery.

His tiny stand was enthusiastically recommended by two other Swiss locals who incidentally invited us to go skiing in Bermuda shorts this March. See you can meet people here! Even though their girlfriends were there, their friendliness made us consider the offer. In fact, we made lots of new friends at the Whisky Boats 2011 and we would definitely go back again.

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Contributed by Zuri Girl: Alyssa Pinsker – a freelance writer from Brooklyn currently living in Switzerland teaching yoga, English and working on her book, the anti-Eat Pray Love. You can find her on Facebook.

A Personal Glimpse Into the Pain at Penn State by an Alumna

Alyssa Pinsker — Mon, 14 Nov 2011 16:32:09 +0000

When I was an undergraduate student, as a child of government employees, and a first generation kid whose parents couldn't afford to send me to my accepted schools of choice -- Sarah Lawrence or Oberlin -- I decided to attend Penn State University.

In one of life's greatest examples of making lemonade out of keg stands I became a well-known women's activist on campus. I headed the Feminist Majority League, I brought The Vagina Monologues to the college as well as Cunt Fest and a few other sex-positive programs all centered on equality. I started to volunteer at the local Domestic Violence shelter when I met the love of my life at a party. After a night of spin the bottle, Ben* and I wound up in the same bed together.

After our sweet college hookup that didn't end in dumping, Ben started crying uncontrollably in my arms. I thought it was because he recently split with his ex, another local kid from State College with whom he lived with for five years.

One of the truths that he chose to share over a lie was about a secret he had held since he was 9 years old. In the morning, still crying in hiccups of emotion he shared that he had been raped as a child, by a man. I was the second person he'd ever told. Not knowing what to do, I called the local Domestic Violence shelter and asked them to please counsel him. He tried to attend, but called the coloring books on trauma childish and the talks uncomfortable. For our four years together, he'd continually drop out of his University courses, only to try again. He struggled with self-hatred, and what was later diagnosed as "Borderline Personality Disorder" which I think is just a name for a broken trust. He did however gain the courage to join my feminist group and to write anonymously on the issue of male victims of rape.

I organized a "Take Back the Night" for male victims of rape and was -- to be honest -- surprised and inspired that thirteen men had the courage to show up. There we spread the message that instead of telling women what to wear, a message the police are still spreading to this day, we need to educate others on how not to rape. Or at least that there are many victims of rape, and silence does nothing to help it.

I stayed with Ben many a rough night, when he punched himself repeatedly in the face while I was alone in a car with him very early in our relationship and the night he locked himself in a bathroom with a knife threatening suicide towards the end. I stayed with him until one day, he decided I was abandoning him too, cheating on him with my female best friend (I never had or wanted a lesbian relationship) and he choked me to the wall in our Philadelphia apartment where I cried out for help. The next day I filed a restraining order, and I never saw him again. My father went to pick up my belongings, and he cried and begged for forgiveness. "I am a monster," he said to my dad and me years later when he e-mailed me on my birthday.

I am not sure if his aggressor was an employee of Penn State. From what he told me it was his friend's cousin who was supposed to be babysitting the pair for the night and instead introduced them to child abuse, and later taught the two to perform the assault on each other. I am unsure if I reacted properly. Fifteen years later, I would have left Ben the moment I saw these signs, and my own familial patterns of sticking by those suffering even if it equated to self-harm where what kept me there. I don't regret my decision to have stayed with him though, and still have love for Ben to this day. Though we call them survivors, and he is one, Ben is a real life victim of which there are millions in this world, and around seven that have had the courage to come forward so far at Penn State. He is also a victim of the vicious cycle of child abuse.

Last week, the we found out that even in "Happy Valley", corruption and violence lies. Some of my classmates who still live there wrote that they were "flabbergasted." I found out a long time ago that we are only as sick as our secrets, and most likely Sandusky himself is a victim of some form of abuse. Those who didn't report should lose their positions but I ask for some empathy to the victims as well as the assailants.

"Shocking, isn't it?" wrote my alumni friends. Not really, having traveled the world as a teacher and activist, I've seen far worse and know not to be surprised by the sickness that can lurk in secrets, and the unhealed. I hope that this situation can turn the most vile situation into its own progressive gold. With this discovery perhaps more victims can come forward and as a world (not nation). Together we can work to promote "whistle blowing," therapeutic events like Mens Survivors groups and activism far sooner than 15 years later.

Today, Ben is happily married, and has finished his Master's Degree. He still lives in Happy Valley where there is always hope for all those who took part to attempt rebuilding and repair.

Darrell Hammond, a victim of abuse who recently came out with his story, said "The agreement between perpetrator and victim in which the victim agrees to remain silent because he's in fear." I hope I came out of my silence, and the victim (and perpetrators) come out of theirs.

Haters gonna hate

Alyssa Pinsker — Thu, 06 Oct 2011 18:35:26 +0000

After an online article sparked me 52 comments, mostly negative, I thought about the anonymity of the comments game and why I became a writer. So I could speak without being interrupted. If real names (which are hopefully as googleable as mine) were put on comments, would the internet be saying such the darndest things? SNL nailed it here, but my upcoming essay talks about the sad side of being commented on. No more having the last word!

http://www.buzzfeed.com/mattw/internet-commenters-talk-show-arl

Top 5 Regrets People Make on their Deathbed

Alyssa Pinsker — Mon, 13 Jun 2011 01:53:19 +0000

Top 5 Regrets People Make on their Deathbed

By Bronnie Ware (who worked for years nursing the dying)

For many years I worked in palliative care. My patients were those who had gone home to die. Some incredibly special times were shared. I was with them for the last three to twelve weeks of their lives.

People grow a lot when they are faced with their own mortality. I learnt never to underestimate someone’s capacity for growth. Some changes were phenomenal. Each experienced a variety of emotions, as expected, denial, fear, anger, remorse, more denial and eventually acceptance. Every single patient found their peace before they departed though, every one of them.

When questioned about any regrets they had or anything they would do differently, common themes surfaced again and again. Here are the most common five:

1. I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

This was the most common regret of all. When people realise that their life is almost over and look back clearly on it, it is easy to see how many dreams have gone unfulfilled. Most people have had not honoured even a half of their dreams and had to die knowing that it was due to choices they had made, or not made.

It is very important to try and honour at least some of your dreams along the way. From the moment that you lose your health, it is too late. Health brings a freedom very few realise, until they no longer have it.

2. I wish I didn’t work so hard.

This came from every male patient that I nursed. They missed their children’s youth and their partner’s companionship. Women also spoke of this regret. But as most were from an older generation, many of the female patients had not been breadwinners. All of the men I nursed deeply regretted spending so much of their lives on the treadmill of a work existence.

By simplifying your lifestyle and making conscious choices along the way, it is possible to not need the income that you think you do. And by creating more space in your life, you become happier and more open to new opportunities, ones more suited to your new lifestyle.

3. I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.

Many people suppressed their feelings in order to keep peace with others. As a result, they settled for a mediocre existence and never became who they were truly capable of becoming. Many developed illnesses relating to the bitterness and resentment they carried as a result.

We cannot control the reactions of others. However, although people may initially react when you change the way you are by speaking honestly,in the end it raises the relationship to a whole new and healthier level. Either that or it releases the unhealthy relationship from your life. Either way, you win.

4. I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.

Often they would not truly realise the full benefits of old friends until their dying weeks and it was not always possible to track them down. Many had become so caught up in their own lives that they had let golden friendships slip by over the years. There were many deep regrets about not giving friendships the time and effort that they deserved.Everyone misses their friends when they are dying.
It is common for anyone in a busy lifestyle to let friendships slip.But when you are faced with your approaching death, the physical details of life fall away. People do want to get their financial affairs in order if possible. But it is not money or status that holds the true importance for them. They want to get things in order more for the benefit of those they love. Usually though, they are too ill and weary to ever manage this task. It is all comes down to love and relationships in the end. That is all that remains in the final weeks,love and relationships.

5. I wish that I had let myself be happier.

This is a surprisingly common one. Many did not realise until the end that happiness is a choice. They had stayed stuck in old patterns and habits. The so-called ‘comfort’ of familiarity overflowed into their emotions, as well as their physical lives. Fear of change had them pretending to others, and to their selves, that they were content. When deep within, they longed to laugh properly and have sillyness in their life again.
When you are on your deathbed, what others think of you is a long way from your mind. How wonderful to be able to let go and smile again,long before you are dying.

-Bronnie Ware is a singer/songwriter, a songwriting teacher, and a writer from Australia. Through her work, Bronnie has the ability to celebrate both the strength and vulnerability of human nature, or to paint a picture that takes her audience to landscapes afar.

From farmhand to mixing cocktails on a tropical island, from office and management roles to nursing people in their final days or teaching songwriting in prisons, Bronnie’s experiences through both her personal life and work have left her with a positive and down to earth approach to life.

With thoughtful lyrics and encouraging lessons, Bronnie weaves delightful tales of real life observations and experience. She has a natural ability to create a feel good experience, with her graceful ease and gentle humour. Bronnie’s message is a positive one.

These days Bronnie runs a combined personal growth and songwriting course online, writes an inspiring blog, performs her songs regularly in the folk festival circuit, and performs wonderful, interactive musical shows for young children.

http://bronnieware.com

Criticism

Alyssa Pinsker — Mon, 06 Jun 2011 11:04:12 +0000

I take criticism well, from fellow writers, performers and comics. In fact, I pay people to criticize me, often brutally because it makes me a better artist. But if you are so daft as to go to the modern art museum and say “I could do that,” I always say, go right ahead, and do it. Publish your piece, perform your work. Until then, friends, when I ask you how I did, just say “Good!”, I’ll ask my colleagues for the detailed feedback.

Latest Time Out New York Feature: Storytelling Events in New York City

Alyssa Pinsker — Sun, 05 Jun 2011 15:31:45 +0000